Awareness of Moving from a place of struggle to a place of ease and joy

Throughout my life, I have had this tendency to try and work very hard at achieving what I wanted. It especially was pronounced and showed up in my days of schooling and then in my career life. However, life taught me that this does not equate to success at all. Because when we try and work very hard in a stressed, fearful, anxious,joyless and deprived, we come from the mindset that "Life is a struggle and its no fun at all".

So I have been searching and transforming a lot since I discovered this awareness within me. Today I read a quote by Abraham Hicks which really made my dreams seem possible all over again. It was to the effect of: "Your task is not to try and do to achieve something. Your task is to simply allow your dreams to be fulfilled". That's indeed very profound. But it is very liberating as it means I can choose to live my life the way I have always wanted to which is in itself very much in friction with how society has always said I must live my life. The other quote by Abraham Hicks which needs to mentioned now is : " You can't struggle your way to joy. You can only joy your way to joy"....

Wow now my dreams seem even more possible. What about yours?

Embracing all Aspects of Life

Today morning I heard of a news that dashed my hopes, broke my heart and greatly disappointed me. Instead of reacting as usual and pining away for my dashed hopes, I decided to just completely open myself to just admitting and feeling how hurt, disappointed and sad I was that my desires could not be fulfilled. At the same time I started acknowledging that GOD was the source of my desires and fulfillment and I just needed to let go of the form my desires had to take. This was a very powerful way to transform the hurt and longing I felt into joy, peace, love , fulfillment and inner strength.

Who gives us Love and Money

I used to believe my source of love is from myself, my family, my friends, the clothes I wear, the books I read, the food I eat....

Yes I do receive and recoognise love though these sources as much as I exeprience negative emotions through these sources...

But the source of it all is still GOD......

I had this enlightenment yesterday:

"I am Source
I am unlimited
I can do it
I have an infinite amount of love to give to myself and others"

So always knowing that I am part of GOD and my inheritance of all that is good, true and beautiful is unlimited in supply and from GOD. The givers of form my mind perceives are just the messengers of GOD, sent by GOD.

So if I am not receiving something good that I want , like all the money I desire, its beacuse there are belief systems in me that make me believe that love is limited and scarce. Its this belief system that leads to comparisons, competitions, fear of survival and lack of love among the human race.

Money is a form of crytallised energy. Its a form of love. Since GOD's love for us in unlimited, money as a source of love is also unlimited for us. Its the belief in scarcity and limitedness of love that leads to money problems. Also rejecting all the current problems that our creative mind has created from the past is also another problem. The idea is to embrace the current problems as being part of our creations and also focusing on what we really want in the future consistently so that it will come true one fine day. Definitely going to healers as many times as possible to access our akkashi records and clear them is one of the biggest help one can get. The biggest help of all is to keep praying, visualising what we want and trusting in the angels who work very hard behind the scenes non-stop. They will then lead you to the right healers if necessary. Some of our core patterns stem from our ancient lives and they cannot be resolved by us even after decades of hard spiritual work. They are so deeply rooted that getting as many akashi readings as possible to delete these core memories from their roots really really helps at the end. The pathway to LOVE is a very constant evolution on a day to day and moment to moment basis. Your heart will lead you to the right messengers of GOD's love at the right time in the right manner as easily and effortlessly as possible. The hard part is being able to see ourselves through some of the dark nights of the soul where it seems that even all the angels and GOD has abandoned us. Yet this is just an illusion to test our trust and faith in GOD. To me now, GOD is both Divine Mother and Divine Father. I want love from both of them and I ask them for it.

Self-Love

As I released my intense ancient fears of not being loved on that fateful day, I dropped a few pants sizes! Voila!

Well defintiely losing a few pants sizes in one day is indeed a miracle. But behind this miracle is a lot of diligence and commitment leading up to it.

I did put out intentions that I wanted to lose my fats. But I just said the thought and let it go a couple of times in the span of one year. What I had been really working at was my spiritual pathway of ascension. I was very intent on releasing all the negative thoughts and emotions I was holding inside of myself and becoming more loving towards myself and others. This I did on a daily and moment to moment basis.

I also did weight lifting consciously and gently to increase my upper arm strength. I only carried very light weights (1.8 kg) as I could not handle anything heavier and I only did it about once a week. But I focused on doing it consistently and being very conscious about the effects I was having mentally and emotionally while doing this exercises. Reason is the arms and all the chest muscles and upper body back muscles  are all connected to our heart energies (heart chakra). I also did more consistent running (albeit at a slow speed and about 1 to 3 km for about a couple of times in a week) as it was all about getting the heart muscles working better and to have my blood flowing better. Running also helped to open up my heart chakra and allow the anger to be released. Everytime I was feeling sad, I would go and have a run. In this process, anger was released (which made me have more energy to run faster and more) or the sadness would just slowly be replaced by joy. So running always helped to transform my negative energies to positive energies. I did not set huge or unachievable goals for my exercise. I only set very small achievable goals. The key is to set goals that are small enough to keep motivating the mind to do it more willingly at a very consistent rate every week. Its not the intensity so much as the focus, depth of consciousness and consistency that the exercise is done. Therefore I do not compare myself with how much better, faster or longer my peers can exercise but I use myself as the yardstick of measure as to how well I am progressing.  I keep praising myself and treat myself to a cup of tea and some toast after the exercise to keep myself motivated. Sometimes dressing well and putting on some make up with nice hairdo during the workout also helps to shift the mood. As does good music or nice friendly, caring and helpful people around.

A few signs of success definitely helps. Signs of success are seeing the sweat on my body, feeling my increased heart rate, feeling myself breathe more easily and freely during the workout, feeling the emotional and mental energies flowing and shifting through me (trasnforming from negative to positive) and stronger muscles.

Abundance Yoga and Ancient Memories

I went to my third abundance yoga lesson today. Was totally excited about going though I felt guilty of not working hard at my career pathway. My heart was super excited about going and so I decided to have fun and enjoy myself. Also I was longing to eat the hummus in the middle eastern eatery opposite the shop space where the yoga was held. Though 2 other people besides me had signed up to come, they did not come. So I had a private yoga lesson. I love private yoga lessons. I felt very dizzy, fuzzy and ungrounded throughout the entire lesson. Towards the end, the teacher told me I had something very deep stuck within me. An ancient language I knew very well but was too afraid to speak. So she asked me to tone, coming around to put her hands on me to give me the healing support I needed. All the while telling me I had to let out that which was deep within me. Initially it was hard to tone anything and I just decided to tone something weak and safe. Eventually the toning became more authentic and louder. As it increased in intensity even my yoga teacher could feel its very powerful vibrations. I could see her vibrating as the energy released through the toning was so intense. Both she and I could feel that there was intense sadness in this energy. The toning became so high pitched, intense and loud again and again. Then after it subsided, I lay down breathing in deeply. When I tried to get up, I was still feeling very ungrounded and drinking water did not help. Then I started running on the spot and that made me get my grounding back. For me running, walking,dancing or standing near a garden is the best way to ground. Well it was so fun to release that. Seriously where else could I let out such intensity through my voice? Only in a car when I am driving with no passengers.Now we know why the other two people did not turn up for yoga lesson.

How I overcame the release of intense fears-Continuation of my earlier post for today

In the toilet I remembered the little voice in me that told me to apply my violet flame oil before I left the house which I thought was just my imagination speaking. I was in a hurry and too lazy to apply so I did not. I then realised my folly in the toilet and asked GOD to forgive me & that I will listen to it henceforth. Then the pain of fear lessened a bit. Then I decided to go out into a park nearby to ask the fairies to heal me instead of taking a bus. As I walked in the park, the symptoms of fear release lessened as I asked the fairies for help (even though the weather was scorching hot and I needed an umbrella to shield me from the sun). Then I remembered what I had read about plant spirits wanting to help people and saw a very common looking fern calling out to me. I went to put my hands on it and rub my back against it. Of course all in a very subtle inconscpicuous manner as the park was alongside a busy traffic main road.
Then the pain of fear released lessened even more. The more I kept walking by the plants, the pain and the fears kept easing.Then I found more strength to walk to a shop to drink tea and toast to ease my hunger pains and it became much better. I cancelled all my appointments and went back home to eat, bathe, write and read the whole day. I am retiring for the day. My body is still very weak because of the intense fears that were channelled and released through my body. Goodnight

A Nutritious Easy to Prepare Vegan Drink with loads of Protein and Calcium

1) Add 3 tablespoons of organic almond powder to half/three-quarters a cup of hot/warm water (I am using the Yuan Yuan Brand of Almond +Oat Powder which can be found in NTUC in Singapore).
2) Next add 2 tablespoons of chia seeds (can also be found in NTUC in Singapore).
3) Mix well for at least 30 seconds and wait for another 30 seconds unitl the chia seeds become more jelly like
4) Then it will taste like sago in milk
5) I love it sugarless

I found it yucky at first but now I love the taste of chia seeds. It gives me a very shiok eating desert kind of feeling. I eat it with just plain hot water or add them to my rice and pour soup over my rice. 2 tablespoons is a nice quantity to go for at any one serving.

Please dont eat it if you have adverse reactions to protein rich diets.